Thursday, October 26, 2006

Craig's Ode To Humanity: Stuffed Animal Lovers Unite

First off, all hail to Amy Blair, the original, best and most fantastic Craigslist Queen of all time. (Check her out at: www.blacktable.com--sadly now defunct, and now at www.animalnewyork.com, where her articles are practically the only ones worth reading!) As the revolutionary momma of making fun of Craigslist I give her full credit. Unfortunately, there are just as many sleazeballs, creeps, wierdos and philosophical quandaries here in D.C. and I can't let them get away with it without verbal punishment....so I will share with you some weekly "bahgains" and other sweet deals of the material or human nature that D.C. Craigslist offers us locals each week.


8 Stuffed Animals- Really Cute!! - $8
"I really want them to go to a good home.

If you can come pick them between 7-8pm tomorrow (Friday) they are yours for free. E-mail me if interested. "



.....Anyone, Anyone? Going once, Going twice, it's a TERRIFIC deal! In case you CAN'T DO MATH (or use the calculator in your cell phone) that's only ONE DOLLAR PER STUFFED ANIMAL! I great "Valentines Day" or "Just to Show I Care" gift for your sweetie, these stuffed animals also look FANTASTIC in your rear view window, sitting there, watching the world go by. Don't have a sweetie? Give them to your KIDS! Used stuffed animals are a great money saver in this day and age when all those brats want is an iPod or PlayStation all the time. Don't have kids, then they make a great dog chew toy! But I guess if I can't make the $8, I'll give them to you for FREE, because I feel really BAD for them, you know? I mean, look at their cute little eyes, and sad bent ears? Awwww...I almost wanna keep 'em myself, the little buggers. But, as they say, the little birds must fly from their nest....So PLEEEEEASE give me a call, I mean, E-Mail me, if you are interested in some possible free, but $8 is the asking price, stuffed animals.

Freak-Back #1



First in a series of Freak-back Flash-backs to share with you, although they are not localized in D.C., they do need to be publicly humiliated nonetheless.

Note the matching tie-dye shirts of this "oh-so-cute-and-matchy-matchy" couple. Enjoying a lovely day at the seashore on acid, they pick their way amongst the broken shells with the utmost of care. Unfortunately, his lady friend seems to have forgotten she has a barrier to those cold, sharp rocks--her fantabulous METALLIC SILVER CROCS that she holds so delicately in her hand! In addition to the previously mentioned crimes against humanity, we have an assortment of additional sins, including the ankle-length peasant skirt (fortunately for us, invisible behind the humanitarian dune), Grateful Dead t-shirts long enough to: a.) Cover her boob-stomach-waist-crotch-knee area (possibly one mass?) and b.) Cradle his beer & organic onion ring belly with the ultimate in soft, multicolored cotton softness.

Carcinogenic Hairy Crabs Still Allowed in Carry-On...

"Hairy crabs exemplify lax safety standards"

By Woo Rhung-jieh 吳榮杰 Tuesday, Oct 24, 2006, Page 8, The Taipei Times.
Over the past few days, hairy crabs containing traces of carcinogens have once again aroused panic and public concern about food safety.
According to recent news reports, the Department of Health authorized the Bureau of Standards, Metrology and Inspection to perform random safety checks on 29 of 860 consignments of hairy crabs imported from China. The results showed that as many as 20 percent of the crabs contained carcinogens.
The government does not seem to have learned from the experience of developed countries like Japan or the EU, which are quick to suspend imports of questionable products and perform safety checks on every consignment. On the contrary, the government loosened restrictions and until recently allowed each traveler returning to Taiwan to bring up to 6kg of hairy crabs.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Special Engrish of the Day #1



Special Delivery from Shanghai, via J Mongoose McPeck. Enjoy duck flavored potato chips TONIGHT!

Hello & Welcome to the Mongoose Nest!


Hello friends,

Welcome to DC Mongoose. The newest among myriad DC blogs. Isn't that exciting? No, you're right, it's actually sort of mundane. But, on personal note, my life is rather mundane right now, so what better way to spice it up than bitching about wierd DC stuff, showing you all pictures of total freaks that have crossed my path, making fun of every/anything and breaking it all up with little rays of pixelated sunshine? Not much, I must say. (Aside from a cracker with goat cheese, tomato and salmon and a nice big coffee mug of wine, which I am currently lovingly digesting). In any case, I welcome you to the Mongoose Nest and welcome you to send rants about horrid drivers, wierd things about DC (I suppose this one only applies to those, like me, who are resident aliens of this fine city), something you saw on the Metro or even the occasional good review!

Reaarw.